No. 01: The Best Mammogram Ever
The call to the Breast Center to schedule a mammogram went easily enough. As a self-employed woman, I can create my own schedule. I always asked for the first available. And the first in the morning.
The reason for the first in the morning is to get the tech when they are fresh, and you are at the front of the day—not beholden to a delayed schedule and forced to sit in the waiting room for an hour. Please note there are signs that say, for a wait longer than 30 minutes, please see the front desk.
This day started great. I arrived 15 minutes before the allotted time. Checked in. Reviewed the clipboard with the health questionnaire and quickly took a seat and completed the form. All was good. It was not long before the tech came out, announced my name, and took me back to the changing room.
After the perfunctory rules: You did not have any creams or deodorant on. Take off shirt and bra and put on this shirt; keep the opening to the front. After years of this, I simply smiled. When you are ready, come through this door to the mammogram room.
I did as I was told and soon came into the room. The Tech asked me to take a seat; she was still booting up the computer. As I took my seat, the fire alarm went off.
"We need to leave," the tech said. "Tie the front together. Follow me."
We were soon outside standing under the front door awning. A security guard soon came and requested us to move farther out to the curb. No one was to be allowed back into the building until an inspection was completed. They had to be ready in case the fire truck came.
It was early spring, so it was a little cold outside. My little cover was really not enough. The tech, who remained by my side, kept rubbing my arm, telling me we will soon be back inside. It took 30-45 minutes before that would happen. (Remember, this is one reason I asked for the first appointment; just think of the person who came later!)
Back inside, we returned to the mammogram chamber. "At least the computer should be booted up by now," said the tech. "Let's get this going."
Untying the shirt, I looked down. "Boy, I was cold," breaking the ice... so to speak.
The tech hurriedly prepared my right breast. Pulling, tugging, squishing. Once she had it where she wanted it, she retreated behind the wall. "OK, hold your breath."
The machine started on its path around the breast... and stopped at the top.
"Oh my, what happened," said the tech as she immediately was at my side, and pushed a button on the floor that immediately released the trapped organ.
"You tell me, I am just standing here."
The tech pushed a few more buttons, then said, "Take a seat, I need to reboot the machine, this might take a moment."
I dutifully sat down. And waited. Within moments, the machine returned to its original position, and the tech asked, "Ready to try this again?"
"Sure," and I placed my glasses on the side table and took my position.
The mammogram went smoothly—this time. Since I had already told them I would wait for results, I asked if I may change my mind and get a phone call—since we had already expended two hours. The Tech said no problem.
I went into the little room, removed the gown, and got dressed. Placing my garment into the bin, I left the hospital and reached my car. Only to realize, I had left my glasses in the exam room. I turned around and went back. As I stood at the welcome desk trying to explain I had left my glasses, the woman asked me if I knew which room it was. Just as I said yes, my tech emerged from the inner bowels of the hospital, my glasses in hand.
What a day. I told her to have an awesome day... we smiled at each other. Best mammogram ever.
P.S. - I DO RECOMMEND MAMMOGRAMS... EARLY SCREENING.