18. It Starts with WHY
A friend of mine has his own blog. The most recent one stands out to me: WHY.
I have read the book— “IT STARTS WITH WHY.” And it is true, everything does start with the question WHY? And more importantly. WHY ME????
Why do I care about this?
What do I already know about it?
What do I need to learn or add to my knowledge?
What do I know is not true about this?
It is easy to answer the first question. Why do I care about breast cancer? I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I HAVE IT! I saw what my mother went through, and I am the same age she was when hers was diagnosed. And now like her, I am minus two breasts.
What I knew about it was what I had seen in others. I saw my mother when she came out of surgery, looking so pale, eyes closed. I sat with her till she was awake and took the first few steps post-surgery. I heard her murmur, “I am glad your daddy could not see me like this.”
I watched her go through chemo, losing her hair, getting a wig she hated to wear, and not wearing the bra which replaced that which she had lost. In an effort to take her out to dinner, we watched as she threw up her meal on the table of the restaurant. She was horrified. We were not and cleaned her and the table. Noone around us were upset and one woman offered assistance. My mother just wanted to leave. What I saw was what I knew about breast cancer. That, and getting a mammogram.
So, what did I learn? I learned much more than I ever thought I would. I learned about lab tests, blood tests, radiological tests, genetics, pre- and post-surgical needs, how to drain a JP drain easily, and all the options at your fingertips. Options such as bra inserts, plastic surgery, knitted inserts and emotional support. I learned about margins, and my favorite new term, the Sentinel Node. I see the lymph system now as the guards to my health, Alsa, I see them as the revolutionary guard with tricorn hat and muzzleloader, but a guard none-the-less.
Most of all, I learned about people. Friends and family who come together to help you. A smile, call, a text, a meal, flowers, ice cream and the occasional bottle of wine.
I also learned about how many people have been touched by breast cancer. No, I do not mean people who have a mother, daughter, aunt, cousin, or friend—and men too. I mean people who came forward and said,” I had breast cancer, I am X years free.” “I had a lumpectomy.” I had one/two breast removed, “
These women told me their stories, from start to today. They provided insight and advice. They offered suggestions and ideas on many things you might take for granted, such as: How to take a shower with drains hanging from you, ways to prop yourself to sleep the most comfortably, and clothing to wear.
Many gave advice to keep communication open especially with your spouse and significant other, after all they are in the same boat as you. Much of the advice is practical, but needs to be said, like, listen to your body, when you are tired, rest. If you are not in the mood for visitors, tell them that. Believe it or not, people do understand and will not take offense.
What do I know that is not true about this—about breast cancer? I did not know men can get breast cancer too. And, it is growing among men. I learned that radiation, chemo, and pills, may or may not be needed. For me, they got it all. I do not need any of it. I did not know the worry does not end when your breasts are removed. Back pain, strange bruising, a new freckle, is it the start of a new type of cancer?
Most of all, I did not know how friends and family would come together like they did to care for me. It was overwhelming at times. And yet, I could be honest and let them know how I was feeling.
SO, it starts with WHY.
Get the Mammogram! WHY? Early detection can save lives—YOURS.
WHY: your family, friends, and more love you.
WHY: Well, that is one question you will have to answer.